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When did I get so caught up in what other people thought of my work? I didn’t used to worry so much but something changed in the last year or two… Besides the other reasons we’ve already mentioned, this is something else that’s really contributed to my art and writer’s block, especially with this comic in particular. Lately, more and more I just keep thinking about what would make the biggest impact with readers, what illustrations would get the most favs, what TikTok videos would get the most views. And then I would think, if it isn’t a potential success then why should I bother at all?
I didn’t used to think that way. I used to be content making things just for myself. But then I got popular on TikTok, and our first graphic novel contract was finally published this week. It’s like, I feel like I’ve been successful once, and all I’m allowed to do now is keep doing anything that will help maintain that image. Everything just got so warped somehow. I just want to go back to how I felt before.
So, I’ve just read through your recent posts here. I’m plural too. But we’re a median system. For anyone who doesn’t know what “median” means in that context, it means that we don’t know where one of us ends & the next begins. Therefore, we’re not really aware of any other names we have. There are a few names we’ve considered; but we’re not sure if any of them are actually our names.
Honestly, ever since I finally accepted my plurality, I’ve wondered if this webcomic was somewhat of a metaphor for plural systems.
Also, just to be clear, there are five of you, right? There’s Wednesday, Zane, Lael, Ari, and Quin. Are there any others you didn’t mention? Or is it just the five of you, as far as you know?
Yeah this comic is definitely supposed to be a depiction of a magical type of plurality! Of course when we started it, it just seemed like a cool idea. But now it’s like “ahhhh this was a way to write about something we’ve been dealing with this whole time without realizing it…”
There’s around a dozen of us but with varying degrees of self awareness. We have that in common with median systems- sometimes we’re just a blurry mess and dunno where we start and end. But then other times we aren’t, and that’s how we can sus out individual names/genders/tastes/etc. I’m not really sure what affects the blurriness, but I think it’s related to stress and emotional intensity- more stress causes more blur?
For some members, we also recognize they exist before *they* realize they exist, which can be kind of strange. Besides the aforementioned, Gabe, Ren, Mary and Iris are members in our system, though Ren and Mary are still in the camp of having no idea where they start and end so they can’t really self-identify. Then there’s a few more, but they’re dealing with a lot mental-health-wise rn, so we won’t talk about them publicly.
That’s cool. Thanks for sharing more about yourselves. I read somewhere once that a plural system can have anywhere from two to about a thousand individuals. I don’t know what the average is or, for that matter, if anyone has done a survey to try to calculate an average. I/We might find that kind of information interesting, though.
Normally when people leave but turn *back* to gamble its a sad thing.
I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through. But I don’t think selling your creative soul in exchange for generic, least common denominator content would be very fun either. Kind reminder that the numbers don’t tell the whole story! I barely use social media so I fully rely on this comic being on my mind and bothering to check the website. Several hiatuses later I’m still here, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. You don’t need to change in order to resonate with people.